from William Tennant
to PRECIOUSLITTLEPODCAST
date 26 February 2010 17:19
subject i've just invented the greatest game ever
I have - in my utter genius - just invented the greatest game that can ever be played by man.
it is called 'toddler booze bingo'
here are the rules.
1. Acquire a toddler - this may involve having sex with a woman or similar and then waiting - if toddler acquisition is unfeasable, then other sentient mobile creatures may be used - i.e. dogs, e.g. Jerk.
2. When you are in the need of booze, take said toddler / dog / mouse / crab to a purveyor of booze - the exact purveyor is up to you and different players of TBB will favour different establishments.
3. let the creature wander freely, and whatever kind of booze they touch first, MUST BE BOUGHT AND CONSUMED FOR THIS IS THE BINGO OF THE TODDLER BOOZE BINGO/
4, you are allowed to consume the booze at home.
I know, I know, a nobel prize can hardly be far away.
In about half an hour I shall take my own personal toddler (I've had sex!) to THE CO-OP and play TBB. I shall report back.
hell yeah.
w
from William Tennant
to PRECIOUSLITTLEPODCAST
date 26 February 2010 20:09
subject toddler booze bingo
it fucking worked!
If you don't want to pick up on this then a) you are shit and b) its fine, I'm sure DRAGONS FUCKING DEN will want a piece of the action.
look at the attached documentary photos. they tell the story of the booze selection.
1 - aaah, the co-op, what may we purchase from here.
2 - yes, I think we will need a basket for our purchases here
between this photo and the next, she nearly picked a bottle of brandy up - oh how I would have enjoyed that, but this is not the way with toddler booze bingo
3 - hmm... this looks like an interesting section of the shop
4 - mmm... yummy
5 - would daddy like beer I wonder?
I would have done. very much. but twas not to be, she did not TOUCH any of those bottles.
6 - hmm... what's in these bottles?
7 and 8 - selection is made.
she picked a bottle of chardonnay. i don't even like white wine. but she picked it and i will drink it. such are the rules of TODDLER BOOZE BINGO.
seriously legge, get on this. I reckon Jerk the cat or whatever he is would be and EXCELLENT BOOZE SELECTOR
w